Late last year, I turned 60. Birthdays often make me reflect on the year that was, and what I hope the new year brings. It’s also a chance to celebrate another trip around the sun. I was determined to celebrate this new milestone in style. So, I started to plan my celebrations early. Since my birthday falls on a crummy month, weather-wise, in the northern hemisphere, I decided to celebrate in summer. My kids threw me the best surprise party: a Brazilian-themed blow-out at the lake. It was a perfect day: all my loved ones were there. I was touched by the outpouring of love and affection. 

This was in stark contrast to my 40th birthday twenty years earlier when I had a crisis of sorts. Turning 40 was traumatic. I did not celebrate my birthday that year. Then when I turned 41, I knew I’d been foolish. I would never be 40 again! Right there and then I decided to celebrate every birthday going forward. And I have done just that. Some years, I even celebrate for an entire month. 

Aging is a privilege denied to many

Not everyone has the privilege of aging. I’ve lost track of how many loved ones died before they reached old age. Every time I see a new wrinkle, I remind myself of this. Getting old is a privilege. Yet along with the privilege, there are some unpleasant realities. For one, ageism is real. You are treated differently, especially as a woman, once you hit your senior years. The job market is not interested in our experiences and skills. An extension of our younger years, we continue to get judged on our looks, our weight, whether or not we colour our hair, what we wear, and what life choices we make. Here’s the thing that I’ve noticed as I’ve aged: those who matter don’t care and those who care don’t matter.

Still, turning 60 feels different. If I live to be 90, I’ve lived ⅔ of my life and now have one-third of my life ahead of me. That’s a sobering thought. And it makes me stop and ask myself: How do I see my remaining years? What can I do to help me age gracefully and with joy? Not surprisingly, I have some ideas. 

Aging gracefully and with joy:

Since my birthday, I’ve spent time reflecting on my future and also looking at lessons learned in my past. Here is what I will do to help me age gracefully and with joy:

1. I will continue to cherish my loved ones. I will keep my inner circle close. I will spend time making memories with those I love.
2. I will continue to be kind. I will not assume or judge a situation or person. Everyone has a story. This includes being kind to myself. 
3. I will continue to exercise. Exercising has been a complete game-changer for me. I feel better. I handle stress better. I sleep better. Life is better when I exercise.
4. I will continue to practice gratitude. Even when things are going badly, I will be grateful for my blessings. I truly believe that having an attitude of gratitude is crucial for my mental health.
5. I will continue to prioritize my mental health. When needed, I will book an appointment with my therapist who has been instrumental in teaching me that it’s ok to sit with my discomfort. I don’t need to react to most things.
6. When faced with difficulties and challenges, I will remind myself that these are opportunities to learn and grow. I know that I have the inner strength and resources to navigate life’s challenges with grace and dignity. So far, I have survived every shitty thing that has happened to me. And I will continue to survive until my time on Earth ends.
7. I will strive to be present and be in the moment. When speaking with a friend, my phone will not be out. When I go for a walk, I will keep my phone in my pocket. I’ll look at the trees, flowers, and clouds. I’ll smile at anyone I meet and say hello.
8. I will laugh and find silliness in weird or uncomfortable situations. I’ll also laugh at myself. Laughter does the soul good and releases feel-good hormones.
9. As long as I am able, I will continue to travel. Seeing new places and learning new things brings me much joy.
10. I will continue to learn new things. Not only is it fun to learn, but it’s also crucial to avoid cognitive decline. Given my family history of dementia, I will do whatever I need to do to ward off cognitive decline.

Onward and forward

I step into my 7th decade with gratitude and humility. I never imagined myself as a 60-year old and yet, here I am. I am grateful to be happy, healthy, and surrounded by love. I know there are still many lessons to learn and I will continue to open my heart to learn them.