Happy International Women’s Day! Let’s lift each other up!

International Women’s day is a day to celebrate women and our achievements. How many of us have been both blessed with amazing women in our lives, and also kicked by nasty women?  We can be each other’s’ biggest supporters or worst enemies. I’ve experienced both. On a personal and a professional level, many of my highest highs and lowest lows came courtesy of other women.

Life lessons

I’ve been helped, counselled and mentored by some phenomenal women. I’ve befriended all kinds of women, from all walks of life. From these incredible women, I’ve learned many valuable life lessons. The lessons I carry with me wherever I go:

• Rejoice in each other’s successes.
• Be kind.
• Listen.
• Learn.

On the negative side, I’ve been figuratively stabbed in the back by a few women managers. Yes, more than one. I’ve also been told that I have no credibility when it comes to fitness and wellness because I’m “skinny” (yeah, that happened!). But, I’ve learned from these experiences. For one, I have learned to pick my tribe carefully. Over the years, my tribe composition has changed. It had to. I did not want toxic people in my life. I’ve gone as far as blocking some on social media. I do not want to be associated with these women on any level. I’m kind, but I’m not a doormat.

A tribute to some amazing ladies

On this International Women’s Day, here’s a little tribute to some of the amazing women in my life. First up, my mom, Amparo. What a woman!  I was incredibly blessed to have a strong, loving, opinionated mom. When she was 41 years old and my dad was 51, they immigrated to Canada. Neither could speak a word of English or French. She faced her new life with enthusiasm and a great sense of adventure. She took several ESL classes and learned English. But this was not her first adventure. When she was 17, she moved from a tiny town in northern Spain to the big city. Rio de Janeiro! I can’t even imagine what that felt like. She was fun, funny and insightful and loved an adventure.

My mother-in-law, Nina, was a force of nature! She survived so much in her life. She lived through the Ukrainian famine in the 30s, was interned in a German labour camp during WWII, and lost many family members during the war and in subsequent years. These events understandably had a profound effect on her. She obviously suffered from PTSD long before we knew what it was. And yet in spite of having suffered so much, she was so kind. This lady always treated me with the utmost kindness and love. She often told me that I was a daughter to her. She was steadfast in her support of me and all my silly endeavours. She often had a mischievous twinkle in her eye. I can only imagine what she would have been like had life not beaten her so badly.

The new generation

Then, there is the new generation of women. This includes young women like my daughter, niece and other young women I’m honoured to call friends. These ladies inspire, teach and amaze me. They’ve grown up watching us, our moms and grandmas fight for equality and equity.

Sadly, they are still dealing with the same issues we’ve been dealing with for years: juggling careers and family life, workplace and sexual harassment, to name a few things. I’m always taken aback when a new mom tells me about her career being hit by taking maternity leave. Or, when I hear about yet another case of sexual harassment. You’d think after the #MeToo movement there would be not only increased awareness but also a significant decrease of men harassing women. Apparently not.

My amazing daughter.

From a young age, she has had a finely honed social conscience. Over the years, she has organized several fundraisers for a variety of causes dear to her. She’s smart, kind, funny, hardworking and has a huge heart. She’s fiercely independent and has lived overseas twice, the first time when she decided to go study abroad for a year. She ended up in New Zealand! Fearless girl.

Whenever life has thrown curveballs her way, she faces these challenges with a clear head and a plan. We have some amazing, deep conversations about some big topics, and I always walk away having learned something new. She also proudly calls herself a feminist. I can’t wait to see what adventures await her as she moves forward.

Many young women seem to be cut from a different cloth. Maybe it’s just my experience, but these women tend to be more transparent in their actions. There are fewer head games. That is so refreshing.

Here’s to all the women, past, present and future, doing their best every damn day. On this International Women’s Day and every day, let us lift, help, listen and encourage others. But, let’s not forget to extend our kindness to ourselves. Remember the flight safety demonstration where we are told to put the oxygen mask on ourselves first? There’s a reason for that. It’s hard to take care of others if we don’t take care of ourselves.

Here’s a great quote from one of my favourite authors, Elizabeth Gilbert.

“The women whom I love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because shit worked out. They got that way because shit went wrong and they handled it. They handled it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days, but they handled it.

These women are my superheroes.”

Elizabeth Gilbert

https://www.facebook.com/GilbertLiz/