I love spending time alone. It recharges me. Being away from people and technology leaves me feeling peaceful. After spending time alone, I go back to my routine feeling like I’ve got a new lease on life. Craving solitude was a big motivator for me to walk part of the Camino in 2016.
Yet, when I tell friends this, they invariably say “oh, I couldn’t do that. I’d be too lonely.” or, “don’t you get bored?” or some variation on this. When I walked the Camino, most people were very surprised to see a 53 year old woman walking alone! Some were shocked. I recently read an interview with Michael Harris, author of Solitude, A Singular Life in a Crowded World I, where he said “Loneliness is failed solitude.” This quote really spoke to me.
Bias against solitude
The article continues by saying that there’s a bias in our culture against spending time alone. Part of that bias is created by corporations who stand to gain when we’re constantly plugged in and they’re mining our data. You would think that by being constantly plugged in, we’d be less lonely. But, that’s not the case. It seems that the more connected we are, the lonelier we’ve become. How ironic is that? And the proposed solution to loneliness is often “spend time with others”. But, what if the others you spend time with have their faces buried in their devices? Isn’t that a lonely experience? Harris proposes another solution: spend time alone.
He continues, “Solitude is a state of productive and contented time alone, whereas loneliness is an anxious emotion that derives from the suspicion you’re supposed to be somewhere else or you’re supposed to be in the company of others.”
Mother Nature to the rescue
I don’t get bored when I’m alone. On the contrary. I find solitude soothing. Especially if I’m alone outdoors. For me, there is no better feeling than spending time in nature, surrounded by chirping birds, the earthy smell of the forest, with sunbeams streaming down through the trees. Or spending time by the ocean listening to the soothing sound of the waves as they crash on the shore, tasting the salty air, feeling the salty breeze blowing through my hair. Those are my ideas of pure peace.
For me, spending time alone is a primal need. It’s how I recharge. Those who know me also know that I’m quite sociable and gregarious. I love parties, not only going to parties, but hosting them too! I love to socialize, dance, have fun, and cut loose. Yet, every day I carve time out for myself. This typically involves a few minutes spent reading or writing at day’s end. Every so often, however, I crave a larger block of “me time”. This is especially true in the last few years. Is it my age? Is is the ever present technology? Maybe both?
No matter the reason, I intend to continue spending time alone. So, here’s to solitude. To reconnecting with our inner self. To unplugging from the ever present technology, even if only for a few hours. To learning to enjoy the quiet moments, the sound of nature, the sound of silence.
Link to interview with Michael Harris:
