Transitions and new beginnings

Spring is a time for renewal, transitions, new beginnings. So, even though it’s still unseasonably cold and the snow refuses to melt, my two oldes kids are starting some exciting new adventures. 

Following his dream

The oldest boy told us this week that he was applying to join the Forces Reserve. This young man has wanted to join the forces since he was 17. At the time, I told him in no uncertain terms that this was not going to happen. At the time, we had troops in Afghanistan and since he wanted to join the infantry, I was not going to let that happen. But 9 years later, he’s grown into a responsible young man and, who am I to stop him from following his dreams?

I’m very proud of him. He’s grown into a wonderful young man. He has set his goals, and worked hard towards reaching them. He has short and long term goals and he’s getting to where he wants to be. Last year, he bought himself a house because he decided that’s what he needed to do for financial security. In order to help him pay his mortgage, he bought a revenue property. His new house is located about an hour outside the city.This means that he has a long commute.

Last year, he also left a job that although was fairly secure, also made him very unhappy for a variety of reasons. As a parent, the first instinct was to say “don’t quit your job. It’s a good job with a reputable company.” But, I didn’t. When an opportunity popped up, I told him “listen to what your heart tells you.” He changed jobs and he’s very happy. He also holds down a second job during the winter. The second job ends very late at night.So, he spends a couple of nights a week at home. He shows up late, goes to sleep, wakes up, grabs a lunch out of the fridge and is gone.  He basically does his groceries at home. So, in a way, there’s no empty nest with this guy.

Then, last month, he adopted a rescued dog. Oh, what a dog. He’s a huge Lab Wolfhound mix named Bilbo. He also stays at our place every weekday. Walking him is nearly impossible for me. He’s incredibly strong and although I’m reasonably fit, he still pulls me! But, he’s such a sweetheart. So, between the dog and the son, they hang around enough that it doesn’t seem like he’s really moved out.This is the best of both worlds. He’s got his independence, but he still hangs around. And I also get to hang out with his awesome pup. A win/win situation.

Euro adventures

The second child going through a transition is my daughter who just landed her first full-time job, post studies. She headed off to France for 8 months. She’s working at the Juno Beach Centre in Normandy. Very exciting stuff. She has a Masters in History so this job is a perfect starting point for her. Even as a tiny child, this girl was very independent. I remember telling her elementary school teachers that she brushed her own hair (with lots of knots in the back!) because she insisted on doing it herself. She also dressed herself from a very young age. I always encouraged this independent streak. Who was I to force her to dress the way I wanted? As far as I was concerned, who cared about silly things like clothes? The kid was loved, safe, and healthy. And independent!

As she grew, her independent streak continued. If she set her mind to doing something, then it was as good as done. While she was doing her undergraduate degree she said that she’d like to do some of her studies overseas. We thought this was a great idea. A chance to learn in a different country would certainly enhance her studies. I figured that she’d go to the UK or Europe. I could not have been more mistaken. She went to New Zealand! On the other side of the world! For an entire year. She was all of 20 years old when she did this. What was I supposed to do? That’s right, encourage her! And I did! A few days after her birthday in July, she left for Auckland, a 20 plus hour flight away.

She adored New Zealand and asked her dad and me to visit her before she headed back home. So, we spent a month in one of the most beautiful places we’ve ever visited! She planned the whole itinerary. What a hoot! Four weeks of driving, hiking, drinking amazing wines, discovering stunningly beautiful places, and taking over 3,000 pictures. We had so many adventures. I can’t wait to visit New Zealand again.

So now, her career starts and she heads off. I’m so thrilled for her. She has worked so hard for this. It took her years of studying and planning to reach her goals. I’m not scared or worried. And this makes me wonder. Am I weird? I know so many other parents who bemoan the fact that their kids grow up and leave home. These parents tell me how hard it is to have an empty nest; they tell me they don’t want to move to a different town when they retire because they want to stay close to their kids. Yet, I don’t feel that way. I feel incredibly happy and proud of my children as they find their paths in life. I would never expect my kids to sacrifice their careers so they could stay close to me. That would be incredibly selfish on my part. Will I miss them when they move out? Well, of course I will. There’s a quote that I really like. It says that as parents, we need to give our kids not only roots, but also wings.

I’m very proud of all three of my kids. Yes, being a parent is amazing. But, it also has its challenging, even difficult moments. As I was looking for a few pictures for this post, I went through old photo albums. And two things struck me. My kids were a handful! There are tons of pictures of them being silly. The shenanigans these guys pulled! Let’s say I’ve earned my wrinkles and gray hair. The second thing that struck me was how exhausted I look in all the pictures. Yup, parenthood is exhausting. It’s also an incredible blessing. Having the opportunity to raise children humbled me and taught me to be kinder, more patient, empathetic.  I’m incredibly blessed to see my kids become amazing adults.